Many of the calls we receive are from parents and carers who are concerned about the behaviour of their child with hydrocephalus.
Human behaviour is complicated. Many specialists have analysed and argued about how and why we behave in particular ways. This has led to many theories about how behaviour can be managed and numerous television programmes and books, which often make it look very easy!
The first thing to remember is that all parents have difficulties with their child’s behaviour sometimes and this does not make you a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ parent. The second point is that, although we can’t control children’s behaviour, we can manage it.
Hydrocephalus can affect children’s concentration, working memory, understanding of language and their processing of information. All of these, potentially, can have an impact on behaviour.
The impact that hydrocephalus can have on learning and behaviour varies with each individual.
Some children, young people and adults with hydrocephalus may have very few difficulties with memory or processing information, whereas in others the consequences can be much more serious. It is important to remember that children and young people with hydrocephalus may have a number of specific learning difficulties, which may mean that they learn in a different way, and need a range of strategies to help them.
In addition, if children are struggling at school, either academically or with their social relationships, this can have a detrimental effect on self-esteem, which in itself can lead to behavioural difficulties. lf you think this may be an issue, it is important to talk to your child’s teachers at school.
Parents and carers can feel de-skilled when faced with a child who does not behave appropriately. This, in turn, can lead to a difficult situation as parents get more and more frustrated and children and young people feel more powerful but also less secure, making their behaviour even more extreme. When children, young people and adults have developmental difficulties the situation becomes even more complicated as they may not react in the way parents and carers would expect.
It is difficult to give a standard recipe for improving children’s behaviour. Every situation is different and may require different strategies, but there are ways that we can begin to work out what may help, by seeing what is going wrong and how to put it right.
Firstly, try to detach yourself from the situation a little, and approach it ‘scientifically’ as a problem to be solved. Make a list of the behaviours which you are finding difficult, then prioritise them from the most to the least troubling.
Concentrate on the behaviour at the top of the list and make a note of anything which might be relevant.
When looking at your child's behaviour, it may be helpful to break an event down into three parts. Antecedent- what happened leading up to the behaviour, Behaviour- what did your child do in response to the antecedent, and Consequence- what happened right after it?
You may need to observe your child’s behaviour for a few days…
Then try to work out what your child is getting from this behaviour.
At this point you should have some ideas about what triggers the behaviour, how it stops, and what your child or young person gains from the experience.
Now you are in a better position to try to change it. This will take time.
Your child may have been practising this behaviour for several years. It is unrealistic to expect it to stop immediately. You and your child will need to learn new behaviours to replace the one you want to stop.
A positive behaviour support approach can help you to develop a behaviour plan with the help of your child’s teacher in school. You can then incorporate the behaviour plan into your child’s life at home.
These strategies may well help in curbing inappropriate behaviour but this is when the hard work really begins! You need to be consistent when your child needs help in learning how to manage their own behaviour. Some children with hydrocephalus will need direct teaching of social skills because they may find social interaction, understanding language, reading emotions and body language very difficult, and may need to learn how to manage their own emotions.
Remember to support, to respect and to not judge so your child feels positive about themselves.
Further Reading