Starting secondary school is seen as a big milestone in their child’s life by many parents. It marks the end of being at primary school and the start of being in a much bigger school environment, where there are greater expectations on a child or young person to be independent. The path to becoming and then being a teenager can be a challenge to a young person and their family but there is still a lot that parents and carers can do to support the development of their child at home.
The beginning of the school day can be a rush for everyone and your child will need to take on more responsibility for being organised and ready for secondary school.
If you think it helps, keep using a visual calendar and school timetable so your child can easily see the week ahead.
Some children and young people with hydrocephalus also like to have a colour-coded map for different days at school so they can see which rooms they will be in for their lessons. Sometimes a key ring with laminated cards as reminders are used in some schools to help follow routines for lessons.
There are also apps for children and young people with hidden disabilities to help with prompts and routines when at school.
Children may have difficulty getting used to new surroundings so practising the route to school with a parent and a helpful friend is a good idea.
Tips for a positive start to the school day
Your interest and input is still very important to your child and it will help their learning progress and develop their confidence as they learn new skills.
Homework in Secondary school
Try to establish a positive relationship with your child’s form tutor and if applicable, the Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Co-ordinator (SENDCo). They are the experts at helping your child to settle in and to thrive at secondary school. They will be able to reassure you and your child about most issues that come up.
You, in turn, can inform the teaching teams about the health issues associated with spina bifida and/or hydrocephalus and the possible effects on your child’s performance in class. By working in partnership with your child’s school, you can help professionals to develop their knowledge and understanding of the condition/s.
If staff need more advice about the effects of the condition/s on learning and teaching strategies then you can remind your child’s teacher and SENDCo about Shine’s information and advice services.
NB: terminology for special educational needs teacher or assistant is slightly different, depending on whether you live in England, Wales or Northern Ireland
If your child has hydrocephalus, they may find maintaining friendships hard due to difficulties with understanding social cues. Joining clubs and voluntary activities with friends from primary school is a good way to establish friendships in a new school. If your child has SEND, many secondary schools sustain circles of friends for pupils by having lunchtime drop-in sessions to avoid social isolation.
At this time in a child’s life, there may be fewer opportunities for you as a parent to help with your child’s social life. Sleepovers, cinema visits and parties may be arranged without your child fully remembering the details. Social media can provide the reminders and prompts that a young person with spina bifida and/or hydrocephalus may need to remember the details of social events.
Digital safety and safeguarding children and young people is a concern for parents/carers of all children, particularly those with disabilities. Hydrocephalus can cause some children and young people to exhibit high compliance and trust with strangers. This characteristic can be a worry so parents are advised to follow internet safety guidance given by the NSPCC.
Out-of-school activities
During the secondary school years, the neural connections in your child’s brain become deeper if used regularly. Other weaker neural connections, if unused, begin to fade so it is a good idea to keep up with activities they enjoy.
Continue with the sports, clubs or musical instrument practice that your child attended in primary school so that they maintain their friendships outside of school. Ensure that your child’s learning experiences continue to be enriched outside of school to maintain the skills they learned.
The Family Fund has digital parenting advice, which is updated regularly.
When your child reaches their teens, you may not read to your child in the same way that you did when they were at primary school. You can, however, still talk to your child about the books they are reading and talk about what you are reading too. Make time to enjoy choosing books with your child at your local library or book shop. Give a book for birthday and for Christmas gifts to keep up good reading habits.
Keeping up to date with the news helps with school work, as does finding news stories which connect with lesson topics.
If you’re planning a day out then visit a museum or places of interest that will tie in with the work your child is doing in subjects such as Art, English, Science, Geography or History. This is a fun way to add depth and interest to your child’s learning.
During the teenage years, there are certain characteristics and habits which may be new to parents. Here are a few teen traits to look out for during the teenage years when your child is quickly growing up.
Teens, in general, take risks so parents can guide their risky mind set by encouraging teenagers to take chances in a safe and secure environment such as in their home, where there is no fear of failure, no mocking and no criticism. Schools should also be places with the same safety and security so students can challenge themselves without fear.
Sleep management is another problem that most teens have so keep to a daily routine, which gives your child opportunities for restful sleep. The National Sleep Foundation can advise on this.
Reading emotions can be a difficulty for teens, especially if they have hydrocephalus, so be explicit and clear to help your child develop self-awareness and an understanding of expectations.
Less self-control is often a characteristic of being a teenager so it is a good idea to limit distractions during times when concentration and memory skills are needed, especially for children and young people with spina bifida and hydrocephalus. Reminders to put phones away can become a regular feature of a teen’s life.
Adults need to understand the changes and challenges that young people face and to guide them on their way to adulthood in a positive and kind way.
Children with spina bifida and/or hydrocephalus need to understand their condition so that they can explain it to new people they meet. Children and young people need to know how to keep themselves healthy, safe and supported as they grow up and become adults.
Self advocacy, where a child or young person starts to take charge of describing their own condition, learning to speak up for themselves and making their own decisions about their own life, should start now, if it hasn’t already. This can be a worrying time for parents as they encourage their child to become more independent but with support, many children and young people learn about their rights, their responsibilities, who to turn to and how to take charge of their own needs as they become more independent.